What to do with a dictionary
by Vicky's Sparks
Summary: Some light hearted humour about christmas presents and what Sasuke and Naruto do with them. terrible summary btw


A: N/ Sorry about the wait guys, and I'm also sorry that this isn't the perverted Kakashi story either, I have written it, I just need to type it up, and I realised that there's a lot of things that I want to change, so it will take me quite a while to do that, so I hope you at least enjoy this story. Thanks! Oh yeah,my spellchecker isnt working…so there may be a few letters missing or muddled round so I hope you can bear with me…also,as it's been such a long time,im not sure if my writing style has changed…but if it has,let me know whether its for better of worse.Thanks again!

What To Do With A Dictionary 

Sasuke and Naruto sat in Tsunade's office in silence, each holding a wrapped present. Sasuke's immaculately done of course, and Naruto's…well, basically he had more paper over him than the present. Anyway, they were both waiting for Tsunade to arrive, so they could present her with their Christmas gifts.

Naruto was feeling fairly confident about his gift,it was a six pack of beer and he'd had an infinite amount of trouble acquiring it.But that's another story,for another day.

Sasuke on the other hand,couldn't care less what the Hokage thought of his gift.He'd put little thought into it,and it hadn't cost that much either-even though cost was hardly important to a man of his stature. He'd bought her a linkin park cd,not particuarly bothered that she didn't like them.

Rule 1:If sasuke likes a band,it is therefore proper etiquette that all the people of Konoha must like them too.

Tsunade entered the room,singing to herself,wholly unaware of her two unexpected visitors.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS OLD HAG!!!" She jumped amazingly high as Naruto's obnoxious voice rang out. He had a cheerful grin plastered on his face as he thrust his present towards her,making it blatantly obvious that he was pleased with his idea.

"Well,erm…thank you Naruto." She looked expectantly at Sasuke,and was half surprised when he withdrew his present from behind his back.

"Here…erm…" It seemed as though he was having immense difficulty in recalling the words that he needed, eventually he ground out "merry christmas" but it was such a low mumble,Tsunade had to strain to hear him properly.He held the present out towards her with his usual scowl written all over his face.

She took both of the present with a false smile,knowing that A. Sasuke didn't give a damn about her reaction and B. She probably wouldn't like Naruto's present,no matter how much he thought she would and no matter how hard he had tried to find a fitting gift. So instead of opening them and making an effort to smile and thank them with fake enthusiasm,she set them on the table in front of her.

The two boys turned to leave but she stopped them before they had even lifted a foot from the ground.

"You didn't think I'd forgotten about presents for the both of you,did you?"

The two looked at eachother slightly confused as she handed them two identical presents. Each of the presents were flawlessly wrapped,excludingnthe fact that they were a vulgar yellow,with a hideously bright pink bow perching on top.

Naruto instantly ripped the paper off, whereas Sasuke took his time, savouring the moment when he received his first ever present. The blonde watched sasuke,slightly in awe at his patience and curious as to whether they had received the same presents. To which the answer was yes,they had both received the same.A dictionary.

Sasuke opened it to the letter 'A' and began to inhale all the knowledge that it had to offer. Not to be outdone, Naruto did the same but began with the letter 'Z'.

Three hours later:

The two simultaneously finished reading and punched the air in their own silent triumph,after all reading a dictionary cover to cover is no mean feat. They had forgotten one anothers existence…until now.

"Are you still here,you garrulous fool?" Sasuke sneered.

"I believe that prior to the contrary,why yes I am you malignant bastard."

"What a despicable utterance of foul language! And that outfit is wholly garish!"

"Well,I find that it is mandatory for me to wear youthful colours."

"No,it makes you appear more maladroit than usual."

"Well,at least im not the one who wears a façade of machismo."

"At least im not the one who expresses their feelings in such a mawkish way!"

"What?How dare you,you pathetic marauder!"

"You are irritating to no end. This unnecessary celebration of Christmas appears to be such a macabre event."

"You have marred your appearance…simply by failing to cease to exist you vile being!"

"EN GUARDE!" Sasuke shouted as he raised his dictionary as a weapon. Naruto deflected the first blow with his own Oxford Concise and the two struck at one another with merciless blows…

Of course,this is Sasuke and Naruto we're talking about here…so here's what actually happened;

Naruto ripped the paper off his present and started at it in dismay,whereas Sasuke unwrapped his with meticulous precision whilst Naruto waited (rather impatiently) to see the raven's reaction. Oddly,it was similar to Naruto's…funny that.

The two shared a toothy grin,before both loudly declaring "DICTIONARY WAR!" and began attacking eachother.

Tsunade's dream of them learning some new vocabulary to insult eachother with rather than the usual, 'dobe' or 'teme' was torn to pieces….literally as paper flew through the air.

Occasionally she managed to read the words from the ripped pieces of paper,which fluttered innocently in front of her. She caught words like 'malignant', 'mandatory', macabre', and 'marauder'.

But she finally realised that the two immature teens wouldn't insult eachother without swearing. She had been living in her fantasies for far too long. She opened Naruto's gift and hastily downed the whole pack.

"Oh I say! Would you look at that! It would appear that the Hokage Is squiffy!"

"Quite so! I find that to be unacceptable of a Hokage…although I am curious and fearful of her being maudlin…"

Tsunade groaned as she banged her head against the table.


End file.
